Today I was feeling worse than usual. I mean I’ve had this nagging feeling in me but at the same time I felt so void of emotions and I just don’t know what to do about it anymore so earlier, I asked my friend some questions that will apparently lead to self destruction and then all of a sudden she gave me some words of encouragement and I didn’t know that’s what I needed until I got her messages and I guess it was the best thing that can happen to me tonight.

AND THEN, all of my other friends sent me words of encouragement and I honestly have never felt that loved – it was the best!!

I was on my way to starting the wrong path tonight and I did not even notice it. If my friend never pointed it out I would have been stuck in the hole I’ve been digging for myself and there would be no way out. I thank God for all of these unexpected things. Life can surely give so much surprises at the right time…….. sure this rarely happens but I guess today’s events proved that when you’re really about to fall off the cliff, someone out there will pull you back before you actually do.


Well Today Was Interesting

a lot of things happened today…

first: I woke up at around 2 in the morning because I fell asleep at around 6pm last night and so I went online because I cannot sleep anymore and they announced about Pope Francis I! I watched a livestream of the announcement (kind of) and it was actually nice. I then proceeded to DIY a skirt from scratch and it was a success! I now have a skirt and I wore a skirt out  for the first time today (besides our uniform).

second: I went to Chryss’ house. I was late again. it was really bad. we had fun though and we baked cupcakes and it was fun. hanging out with mah friends is always the best!!

third: it was our class gathering with our “brother section” and it was fun and stuff but it got really emotional towards the end…… I think it’s still getting emotional right now……. things got weird but I met new people but still it was weird…….. in a bad and good way…… does that make sense?

It’s Back

I’ve been feeling worse every day. I think it’s back. Whatever was haunting me before – the one that made me feel 1203981 times more irritated and annoyed and mad at everything – it has returned D:

Also, I’ve never been the type of person to have dreams. I never have dreams actually, like I actually asked my parents and friends what must be wrong with me because I never have dreams!! But while I was studying for our World War 2 test, I was halfway through reading the whole thing until I fell asleep. I had this dream wherein I was part of the war, but not as a soldier fighting anymore. Everyone I know was dying or tortured and it was the worst I’ve ever felt about anything. Last night I had another dream. Someone really close to my heart died and I really don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t look too much into it I know but it’s just that it’s really freaking me out I do not know what to do 😦 😦 😦

You Can’t Have Your Cake and Pie and Ice Cream and Eat It Too

Seriously – that’s just wrong and rude and wrong. Stop it it’s not even funny anymore. You don’t get to tell people to do this and do that and get mad at them because you think they’re not listening to you even if they are but you can’t see that because you don’t look at the whole picture at all. Just stop. Please.

Make Good Choices

Today was the last day of our intramurals and they made this guy named Francis Kong talk for the closing ceremony. He was a great speaker. He talked about how winning and losing in life is really all just about the choices you make every day.

And today I was faced with ‘difficult’ choices. I had to choose between my friends and a concert I wanted to go to. When life hands you free concert tickets but you planned something before hand, I suggest you think about things first.

I chose the concert. Of course I picked the concert I mean that’s Paramore and they haven’t toured in a long time and I wasn’t able to watch the last time they went here so yes I picked them. I have no regrets whatsoever with watching the concert because they were beautiful and it made me appreciate a lot of things more. Including friends.

Last year I have decided that I will not regret anything anymore. I will just try to accept things as they are and make sure that I stand up for the choices I make. So this belief of mine stuck to me when I made my decision. When I picked the concert of course there were consequences. I had friends problems and I didn’t like the feeling I felt. It was my guilt eating me up all over again. I don’t like it. After the concert, I realized that there are just some habits of people that I can hardly tolerate and I really wish I knew about them earlier.

When you’re making choices, I suggest you know and think about what you’re doing before you give a final answer. Make sure that other people’s schedule will not be affected badly because of your impulsiveness – believe me, I learned it the hard way. So here’s to you and your future decisions. Make great choices!

The Irony Of Choking On A Lifesaver

no this is not the candy and no not the song of All Time Low either (although I am telling you ALL to go and check out All Time Low’s Don’t Panic! It’s their latest album and I would say it’s totally worth your while!) I also think Don’t Panic! deserves a separate post hahaha

Anyhow, it’s been 2 months since my last post and I am deeply sorry about that 😦 We’ve been very busy in school and everything has been going downhill and I just didn’t know what to say anymore.

Term 2 just started and the 2 most important Forms are finally over so I guess I owe you guys several posts… and I’ll start with this!

OH! Me and my friends, Kimberly and Daniela, are starting a shop soon! We just finished the photoshoot earlier and we can’t wait to launch it! Watch out for Ombré you guys 🙂

Anyway, my life’s been pretty up and down these past few months… You would think everything was going well since I don’t really post much about my life but hey, everyone’s got their own slice of the bitter cake. It sucks. There are these people in my life who I think are there to help me out but I guess I just suck at responding to everything properly because instead of getting out of this deep hole that I’m in, I just end up falling deeper…. ergo the title.

Thank god there are concerts though. I just went to one of the best concerts ever. It was the Bazooka Rocks Festival and I was on the barricades from 12:30 noon until 11:30 pm. Yup! That’s 11 hours of just standing up! Thank god those people on stage were nice enough to give us unused water bottles when we asked for one… (There’ll be a post about that too don’t worry haha!)

I also started on a photo blog! Check it out here: http://marianplaza.tumblr.com/

Life is weird again but oh well I just can’t wait for this to end I guess


Looking for Audrey, Wait!


When her ex writes a break-up song about her that rockets up the charts, Audrey is suddenly famous–she can’t go out without being mobbed by fans and paparazzi. Readers can take a wild ride with Audrey as she makes headlines, confronts her ex on MTV, and shows the world who she really is. This irresistible, fast-paced novel has a totally hot new paperback cover! Its the song everyones singing. And its about her! But for Audrey, becoming famous overnight equals total, life-changing disaster. . .

Audrey, Wait! by Robin Benway is definitely unlike anything I’ve ever read. This is the second time I’ve read this (the first was because a friend of mine suggested it and omg I love her for that) and I still looooooooooove this book. Each chapter starts with a quote from different songs of different bands (that I love by the way) and each quote fits perfectly well on what the chapter is about. This book will give you a glimpse in the life of a fangirl (I should know hahaha!) and it’s pretty accurate! I squealed in a lot of parts omg James is amazing and so is Audrey and Victoria and everyone else. I fell in love with it the first time and I surely fell in love with this book the second time. This book seriously deserves all the praise it received. I highly recommend this one.

*Notice how in almost every book post I do, I say I highly recommend it and it may seem weird but it’s true. I really want all of you to check it out because all these books are amazing 🙂


Miles Halter, a sixteen-year-old with a fascination for last words, begins his scholastic adventure at Culver Creek boarding school in Alabama with an introduction to his roommate Chip “Colonel” Martin, a trailer-bred genius. Chip nicknames the skinny Miles “Pudge” and introduces him to Alaska Young, a beautiful, literate and intellectually gifted teenager with a head full of elaborate pranks. Under the tutelage of his new (and real) friends, Miles learns to drink, smoke, escape punishment, and understand people. A few days following a major, adrenaline-pumping prank, Alaska drives insanely drunk, crashes her car and dies instantly. 

Miles and Chip, both grieving for their lost friend, wondering if she committed suicide or was killed accidentally, search for evidence of the reasons behind her death. They also feel guilty because they were the last people to see her alive and did not stop her from driving drunk. From his experiences with this loss, Miles learns valuable lessons about loyalty, friendship, and life. 

Looking For Alaska by John Green never failed to make me rethink my life. This is another book I just recently reread due to book shortage and I do not regret it. Life’s been shit lately and hey, who knew this was the one to help me. I also almost cried when the thing happened. The characters may be selfish and self-centered and whatnot sometimes but they’re just the perfect group of people thrown into the perfect situation to make the readers see what can be done to get out of this labyrinth of suffering. Like any typical John Green books, I highly recommend this one. 🙂

There’s also quite a lot of booze and mischief. 



Roy Eberhardt is the new kid–again. This time around it’s Trace Middle School in humid Coconut Grove, Florida. But it’s still the same old routine: table by himself at lunch, no real friends, and thick-headed bullies like Dana Matherson pushing him around. But if it wasn’t for Dana Matherson mashing his face against the school bus window that one day, he might never have seen the tow-headed running boy. And if he had never seen the running boy, he might never have met tall, tough, bully-beating Beatrice. And if he had never met Beatrice, he might never have discovered the burrowing owls living in the lot on the corner of East Oriole Avenue. And if he had never discovered the owls, he probably would have missed out on the adventure of a lifetime. Apparently, bullies do serve a greater purpose in the scope of the universe. Because if it wasn’t for Dana Matherson… 

Hoot by Carl Hiaasen is a book about a boy (Roy Eberhardt) who just moved to Florida. He was pretty much bored with his life until he saw Mullet Fingers, a boy on the run. Honestly, at first, this book bored me. It was not that boring but well, it didn’t really catch my attention… but since I was desperate for a new book to read, I read on. But once I got to know Mullet Finger’s story and how he was connected to Beatrice the Bear and how she was connected to Roy, it suddenly because so interesting that I was not able to put it down. Everything in this book may just seem like a simple prank at first, but eventually, you’ll see that it’s not…

This book shed a new light in my understanding on nature and how important it is. This book made me realize that we can actually make a change through simple ways. This made me see that we, young people, can improve things. I highly recommend this book. I think you should all read this because there is something for everyone here. And I’m sure y’all will enjoy it 🙂


Did I mention that there’s a movie??? And Logan Lerman is in it?? I haven’t watched it yet but I definitely will!!

Babe In Boyland


When high school junior Natalie – or Dr. Aphrodite, as she calls herself when writing the relationship column for her school paper – is accused of knowing nothing about guys and giving girls bad relationship advice, she decides to investigate what guys really think and want. But the guys in her class won’t give her straight or serious answers. The only solution? Disguising herself as a guy and spending a week at Underwood Academy, the private all-boy boarding school in town. There she learns a lot about guys and girls in ways she never expected – especially when she falls for her dreamy roommate, Emilio. How can she show him she likes him without blowing her cover?

Babe In Boyland by Jody Gehrman is somewhat like She’s The Man. Scratch that, it is She’s The Man with some changes like there’s theatre, Natalie Rowan turned Nat Rodgers only stayed in Underwood Academy, an all-boys school, for a week, and her purpose for staying there is to uncover some of the secrets of the male specie. I guarantee that this book will make you laugh and Natalie (or Nat) will irritate you most of the time.

This book is nice but I must say, Natalie is not really the best character. I got annoyed at her 70% of the time while reading the book because of Natalie. Emilio Cruz though… in my imagination, he is one drop-dead gorgeous Latino who is really sweet and nice and beautiful.

Jody Gehrman made me look at guys in a new way. She was able to show me a new side to guys. I highly recommend this book to those people who enjoyed She’s The Man (the movie) and those shows wherein a girl enters an all-boys school for personal reasons. 🙂

Always A Little Too Late

A few weeks back, me and my friends were talking about summer jobs and how we needed money badly. Someone said something about Topshop accepting people our age just for the summer and damn that definitely worked us out.

I forgot all about it because so much was going on and yesterday, while I was in Trinoma, we passed by Topshop and I remembered about our summer plans! I immediately asked about the summer job thing but sadly, the guy told us that it ended “2 weeks ago”. That put me down for a while, but I thought what the hell, I’ll just find another one! and then I went on with my window shopping.

After a while I went back to Topshop because I wanted to check this one shirt. While I was looking through the racks for the second time, one of the sales clerks approached me and told me that it was still ongoing and that I should go to Robinsons Galleria because that’s where they accept the application forms. I immediately went to my dad because I really wanted that summer job. Being 15 years old, no other stores will accept me so I wanted to take the chance…. also because I needed concert money and the experience because 1.) Topshop is on of my favourite shops and 2.) I think it will be a good way to participate in life and it will be one helluva ride/experience.

So today, I went to Robinsons Galleria in the hopes of going home with a job this summer…… but sadly they told me that they stopped accepting aplication forms last March 18. 8 DAYS AGO. I can’t believe it. Maybe if I asked a week earlier, I could have gotten a job in Topshop….. so after that I ended up roaming around and my feet brought me to /bestselers, a bookstore, and there I finished reading Babe in Boyland. After that I bought some fries and went home.

This really sucks and I feel bad but I did learn two things:

a. Do things earlier and don’t forget the plans you made

b. it’s not for me. Maybe this summer is not the summer I’ll work for Topshop, but something will happen and my life will be interesting. 🙂